Protecting the Unborn

The Church's opposition to abortion is not an attempt to control women but flows from her deep love for both mother and child. She calls society to support women facing difficult pregnancies with compassion, practical assistance, and genuine alternatives to abortion.

If you have experienced an abortion, know that God's mercy is greater than any sin. The Church offers programs to help you find healing, forgiveness, and peace. You are loved, and healing is possible. It's normal to grieve a pregnancy loss, including the loss of a child by abortion. It can form a hole in one's heart, a hole so deep that sometimes it seems nothing can fill the emptiness.

You are not alone…

From her earliest days, the Catholic Church has consistently and unwaveringly defended the sanctity of human life from conception. This teaching is not based on opinion but on the fundamental truth that every human being is created in the image and likeness of God and possesses an immortal soul from the moment of conception.

Most people know someone who has had an abortion and who are suffering because of it. If a friend confided in you tomorrow that she had an abortion, would you be able to respond with empathy in a way that brings her closer to healing?

If this is the first time your friend has told you about her abortion, she may be afraid that you will be critical or that you will repeat to others what she tells you. She must know that you are a real friend who cares about her, and that you are not sitting in judgment of her.

Before you talk to her, keep in mind: What does she need today?

• someone to listen?
• a shoulder to cry on?
• a referral to a counsellor, a priest or minister?
• or even crisis intervention?

Listen with your heart, be present to your friend and let her pour out the whole story without interrupting her. You don't have to understand every detail. It's important that she lets go of some of the burden she's been carrying and that she no longer feels alone. Assure her again of your friendship. Promise to be there, not only today, but in the future. Thank her for having the trust to talk with you. It took courage. Her healing journey has begun. She may talk about:

• what happened at the clinic, the clinic personnel,
• rage and anger—at the boyfriend, her parents, God and herself
• guilt, regret, depression, nightmares, using alcohol or drugs to try to forget, and even suicidal thoughts and unbearable grief
• being alienated from her boyfriend, family and friends
• feeling that she doesn't deserve to be loved or forgiven

Assure her of your love and support and much as you'd like to make all her suffering go away with the right words, her grief and loss won't disappear after one conversation. Tell her you will be there for her and help her find healing. Ask your friend if she has ever heard about help for people struggling after abortion. There are safe places and there are counsellors, priests and ministers prepared to help, as well as support groups. Go online and find her the name and phone number of the local organization who can help. Even offer to go with her, as she may feel too embarrassed to go alone.

A woman who doesn't attend church or think of herself as religious can be afraid that God will never forgive her. She should know that God loves and forgives those who are sorrowful. He wants to comfort her and give her peace. He is always waiting for us to approach Him so he can take care of us. Also, she has His Mother, Mary, she is a wonderful advocate we can approach and ask for Her help and intercession.

Helping a friend suffering in silence.

If you see a friend struggling with sadness and emotional turmoil and you think that abortion might be the cause, would you know how to bring up the topic without asking directly if abortion is the source of her pain? A suggestion: At an appropriate time and place, you might say something like this: "I've been learning about the awful pressures women face to have an abortion or how, afterward, they suffer, grieve and feel alone."